Year Twelve

I think we all knew where we were, and I don't think it gets easier every year. 

I'm not really concerned with what the WTC and Pentagon stood for - what I care about are the people who were lost, and the people that rushed to their aid. The people of Flight 93 that took back their plane too late in Pennsylvania.

I went to NYC in December of 2001 and stood at the edge of the rubble - caught dead in my tracks as I marveled at just how small I am - just as I had marveled when I had gone in 1999 and stood beside these mountains of steel and concrete for the first time. 

We are so small when we are alone. When we come together and support each other, we make mountains.

I won't forget.

Reference: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/11/article-2036096-0DD1F3EF00000578-805_964x599.jpg

Soon...

There is a new blog coming soon. Promise.

(source: http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/soon-cat.jpg)

Woo. Another Pope. *cough*

Well gee, color me unsurprised. The new pope, Jorge Mario Bergoglio - now Pope Francis, thinks that gay people still shouldn't be allowed to marry: that it "is an attempt to destroy god's plan". That gay people adopting children is a "form of discrimination against children". And of course: abortion and contraception are on the no-no list.


So much for progression and the ability to help a growing, changing world. It's just baffling! Look! You have this amazing influence and opportunity to CURE and help the growth of compassion and acceptance WORLDWIDE and yet you chose to use it to keep people fighting, separated and lost. Instead of empowering those who don't think it gets better, keep them down, out and persecuted.

When I think of the people in my life, straight, bi, gay, trans and everything in between, I can't help but think how blessed I am to know these folks that care for others, want to make the world a better place, want to care for their families and help others in need. Some gay and unwed parents I know are some of the BEST parents I know. GOOD PEOPLE make good parents. Why would you deny a child the opportunity of a good life, no matter their parents leaning? THAT is cruel and discriminatory, Pope Francis.

I won't even go into the abortion and contraception part of this... I'll just get angry. Women can take the birth control pill, or not. Women can have abortions, or not. Women and men can utilize condoms and other contractive means, or not. There are choices out there - SAFE CHOICES, and no ONE MAN or ONE WOMAN should tell anyone otherwise.

I was really trying not to follow any of this, but it's hard not to with facebook, twitter and news sites. I guess I'm just disappointed that we can't progress as a society. I'm not religious, but I understand the power of religion and it's influence on the world.

I just wish that mouthpieces, like the pope, were used to bring us together instead of alienate us.

/rant

~Loud-Mouthed Gal

(cat meme sources 1, 2, 3)

Unemployment Blues

I've been feeling rather disconnected from society lately, which is why I think I've been watching so many documentaries. I'm trying to get a human connection while I sit at home alone during the day. 

When I first became unemployed and had my severance package, I went shopping - a lot. Not necessarily to buy things, but just to be out and away so I didn't sit home crying. I was careless and spent a lot of evenings out with friends in Los Angeles, living it up and trying to think that nothing was wrong and that things would work themselves out. Gas and drinks adds up over time.

That was a year ago. I started to become more and more shut in as the months went by. I tried exercising at home, you know, because there was TIME now... I found that I hate working out. A lot. Especially alone. I longed for a dance class, but didn't want to spend the money, nor want to have to tell unemployment that I was taking community college courses for modern dance or jazz... pretty sure that wouldn't fly.  Come to think of it... their education continuation specifications are kinda hard to understand. I should look into that again.

Anyway, I don't see my close friends as much (they are in LA or farther away, some as far as Canada). I don't go shopping except for groceries for my boyfriend and me, and those are modest at best. I stopped buying things on the internet - that's dangerous. I put on weight, even though I don't eat too much... pretty sure it's the sitting on my ass everyday. I became a vegetarian (too many food documentaries). I don't read as much as I used to or want to and I think it has a lot to do with the silence that comes with it. I don't like listening to music when I read, and in a home alone, silence can get to be a bit much. 

I used to go to Starbucks once a week to do my job search to keep myself focused and have a fancy coffee... but that would become 2 coffees and maybe a rice crispy treat... it had to stop.

When I was a teenager, when I put my mind to something, I did it. And was successful. Now when I put my mind to something, all I see is imminent failure - and that is a behavioral matter that I know I need to work on. We are capable of what we allow ourselves, and when we close our own doors and windows, failure is stuck in the room with us. Air it out.

There have been little things that have helped me along and bring me out of the darkness once in a while. Friends that visit; being invited out for coffee; maybe the boyfriend takes me out to a nice dinner once in a while. He and I joined a co-ed community soccer league, which has been good at getting us outside during the day, but thats once a week and I really should be out walking everyday at least. It might be time to bust out my bike again.

Anyway, I don't know where I was going with all this... OH YES. Education. I got a call last week from a friend in San Fran and she was excited to tell me about these online college courses that she was doing. My first reaction was, I can't enroll in anything that isn't a certificate based program for job betterment (to my understanding). But this - this was Coursera.org .  It's an online learning tool that utilizes professors from all over the world for online college level courses on more subjects than I expected. Anyway, I can't recommend it enough. I'm still in my first class, and even though I started a week late, I was able to catch up and only missed one quiz. 

It was good to get my mind going again, to problem solve. I'm getting towards the end of my unemployment benefits and know that if I don't find something in my chosen field here soon, I'm going to be applying at Costco or something and that makes my head spin. But, maybe it's supposed to be this long. Maybe I'm supposed to persevere. I know I haven't been unemployed as long as others. I keep reading that the unemployment rate in California is going down, but all I read are more companies doing lay offs. Just 5 days ago, Google's Motorola program just let go 10% of their staff or 1,200 jobs, which was originally 20,000 employees when they acquired Motorola (though that was in Illinois).

Sometimes it all looks like hopeless darkness. We'll see. I keep pluggin' away, sending out resumes and cover letters. Something has to give, right? 

Right?


~Loud-Mouthed Gal

What is International Women's Day?

I feel like I am late to the game here on feminism, since I had no idea of the origins of International Women's Day. A lovely friend of mine that studied out in Italy sent me a little note telling me to read into it in regards to Italy.

This celebration comes from the suffrage movement of the Union of Italian Women during WWII who had obtained the right to vote but could not exercise it. This also co-insided with the recognition of women abroad, who were struggling, like the women's garment workers union in NewYork City (which is the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union) and the Russian women's movement "bread and peace" which all roughly land around March 8, 1946.

In Italy, Yellow Mimosa flowers were given to other women as they were abundant and bloomed early, towards the end of January usually.  So here it mine to you <3

Also, it is with this kind of feminine huzzah, that it be only right to tip your hat to Rosie the Riveter. Like most women, (though not all), the iconic image by J. Howard Miller, is ingrained into our subconscious as the strong, go-getter, independent woman of the WWII era that we strive to be today. I personally favor the Norman Rockwell print of Rosie, seen below (source).

Ladies, we might be at the top of our game when it comes to centuries of being property (though not everywhere) and the damsel in distress (in all mediums, not just life), the struggle continues for women's rights today, even just basic human rights.

Happy International Women's Day, everyone.

Never Stop Fighting for Equality for All People.
http://now.org/
http://www.amnesty.org/en/womens-rights
http://www.equalitynow.org/protocol
http://womensrightsworldwide.org/organizations.html

~Loud-Mouthed Gal

Anarchists, Socialists and Anonymous... OH MY!

Misinformation and trigger words at their best.

OCCUPY UNMASKED, a "documentary" (and I put it in quotations because usually documentaries I feel like I should be exposed to a open forum of information that explores the spectrum of knowledge, and the people being interviewed should know what the hell they are talking about) is a right-wingy, tin-foil hat wearing, I'm going to use "scary" words to terrify the uninformed American populace, instigator, conspiracy theorists dream come true.

Seriously.

This "documentary" starts off with barrage of news clips in an MTV-like, novice music video editing style - it's about the "debt-ceiling" and takes every jab at President Obama that it can but in a rather disorganized and bouncy, flip-floppy way, but only to end with a quote:

"An organizer must stir up dissatisfaction and discontent" -Saul Alinsky, Rules for Radicals.

So at first impression, just a barrage of images and loud sound clips. This is the first 5 minutes of the film, and I was ready to give up after that, but I trudged through. Mostly because I wanted to know why, out of all the documentaries listed on Netflix in the categories it has given me of late (Critically-acclaimed Political Documentaries, Cerebral Business & Cultural Documentaries, Provocative Fight-the-System Documentaries and Controversial Movies) this one was the lowest rated ones with just 2 stars... and I wondered what the extreme right thought about all this hullabaloo.

I DO know, though, that this "documentary" was reaching. Let's begin with the Narrator, the big-name they dug up to lead us through this Unmasking of the Occupy movement: Andrew Breitbart. As a vocal piece of the Tea-Party, it seems like the match made in heaven for this leaping-to-extremes film (I have to start using the term Film instead of "documentary" because I think it gives documentaries a bad rap.) Breitbart is obnoxious, loud (which definitely means he's right, duh), an instigator, and uses all the tricks in the book. He also does a poor job of trying not to look flattered when people recognize him at the protests he attends to get the inside scoop.

Our next montage during the opening credits is Zuccotti Park (or Liberty Plaza) in New York City where the Occupy Movement is born on September 17, 2011. Then we get into their first conspiracy-ness calling the start of the Occupy Movement a hoax started by Malcolm Harris (which they make sure to say, "He's a commie") because of the Radiohead appearance rumor that came about early on in the occupation. (They later blame other people for the start of Occupy... but who's counting?)

They try to make the protesters look ridiculous because they have "Catered food" and "Macbooks"... most of the items that they had at Liberty Park were donation oriented. The food, the electronics, or their personal items that they brought from home FOR the movement. I was watching online when people were live streaming and chatting and donating money and sending catered food/pizza to the protesters. It was heartwarming and amazing. It's overwhelmingly fulfilling to try for this idealism that the millennial generation is working towards. But it was also heart-crushing when the eviction of Zuccotti Park happened in November 2011 and all these materials were destroyed and tossed into dumpsters, regardless of it being personal property.

Next, showing the liberal media and liberal celebrity idealizations of the protest and "applauding" the protesters, all the while showing some weird clips of snake-charmers playing emphatically for cobras. Is this supposed to symbolize the hypnotism of the liberal public by the liberal media to convince them that this is an amazing thing? I guess... but really, I was just glad to see the Occupy movement on tv, regardless. It meant that it MEANS something, despite what way you spin it.

It goes into some weird email thread from media correspondents that is supposedly the initial orchestration of the movement and it's "nonexistent" reason for existence (yeah I don't get that either. *Pulls tin-foil hat on tighter*) Then they show some poor soul of a protester who has no idea what he's talking about and make him look like an idiot. Not everyone there is going to be an Einstein. Breitbart makes some fantastical leaps and exaggerates on some commentaries that they ninja-record to a comical level. The whole, you are yelling at me through the television so you must be right approach is mostly annoying, Breitbart.

At Zuccotti Park, there are some incidents of rape, drug use... as if that is unexpected. There are always going to be people who aren't good people, no matter what side of the political spectrum you're on and there is going to be drug use - ANYWHERE YOU GO. They act like this is a shock. They cut and frame these clips to feel very ominous and terrifying and even fabricated. Here is the complete video that also goes into how they are setting up the security council that patrols and watches over the community of the park. Not everything is as it seems at first glance. This isn't Disneyland, it's the real world, and people have to know that they have to take care of themselves just as they would anywhere else.

The film starts into its segment on violence and making sure to use the trigger words, rapists, anarchists, socialists, communists, drug-users... and claims that "the left" wants revolutions and that they are haters of the United States, freedom, liberty, the constitution and are "hell-bent on Nihilistic destruction of the United States of America as we know it."

Last time I checked, as an American that learns and pulls a little from everything, being a democratic socialist with conservative values and some libertarianism thrown in there, I don't think I have ever hated liberty, freedom, the constitution or the good ol' U.S. of A. In fact, I love all those things. And because I am blessed with this freedom, no one can tell me that I can't be all these things rolled into one.

And of course, Anonymous. Are they good, are they bad, do they know those masks are made in China or Mexico...? Unless you're awesome ;) But the film makes them look scary and violent... they refer to Anonymous as the muscle to the Occupy movement, though not directly affiliated. Because of their anonymity they are painted as cowards.

Unions. A lot of unions backed, joined, and supported the Occupy movement. They talk about the SEIU setting up the bank sit-ins as constructs of the Unions for the purpose of using the protesters for their own means. I guess that could be right, but there isn't much evidence. I can't help but have my OWN tin-foil hat when they show footage of people saying they were paid to be there and have no clue whats going on (I think they were paid by the cameraman to say it, but whatever.)

They go into class warfare arguments which just boils my blood because they talk like we have no right to be upset with the 1%, like we have no right to ask that the richest people in the country be taxed fairly with the rest of us... watch this video. Seriously. All the rich people I know (which isn't many) also believe that they should be taxed accordingly. The film chides the rich people that showed up for protests, those with trust funds like they shouldn't be there... and they have EVERY right to be there... is it their choice that their parents gave them trust funds? Is it a crime for them to stand with the poorer people of this country and want to help them stand strong? Gah!

They start showing corporate properties that are being destroyed by "anarchists" and using the trigger words, Molotov Cocktails, and mocking their Non-Violence. If no people are hurt, that IS Non-Violence. Violence against a corporate establishment/property that DOES NO HARM TO AN INDIVIDUAL is Non-Violence. Corporations ARE NOT people! The attacks that happened in Oakland were condemned and poo-poo'd by all Occupy posts because there were run ins with police officers who used unreasonable force (imho).

Pam Key, one of the speakers in their film tries to come off as the "cool, hip" commentator who is an activist... but the conclusions she comes to aren't much better than Breitbart's rants... so I read up on her and she is a writer for Breitbart's website, and prior to that, Glenn Beck's TheBlaze.com.

The final thing that gave me a moment, was the amazingly creative connections they start to draw from various communist and socialist societies of the past, and the 60s protests and how we don't seem to care about the rest of the world but only ourselves. About how the 99% hate America. Well, if we can't solve the problems at home, how the hell we gonna help anyone else??

They start painting the SDS (Students for a Democratic Society), Black Panthers, and socialists as the roots and secret behind the scenes instigators of the Occupy Movement. They go: SDS used Saul Alinsky tactics; Saul Alinsky's mentor was Frank Nitti of the Capone gang in the 1930s; after prohibition, the Capone gang went into Unions, which eventually became the SEIU, which backed President Obama in his first term, and backs the Occupy Movement. "It's the 1930s and the 1960s colliding."

There is an audio recording of Stephen Lerner, the Architect of the Justice for Janitors for SEIU, from March 2011 that the right-wing sites say is eco-terrorism. (The title of that last link sounds awesome! Tax the wealthy! I hope to be wealthy, and by-golly, I want to pay my fair share of taxes, give to charities and do my share to help this country be prosperous... because we deserve it.) This wiki article about Occupy traces roots of it's beginnings back to 2008 with momentum gaining in July 2011 when a domain name was purchased. Perhaps it was Lerners words that were the straw that broke the camels back...? Who knows. What I want to know is, how can anything not be drawn from something? We're always going to look into our past to see what was done wrong and right and try to use them as examples. If the Occupy movement looks at what the SDS and Black Panthers did in the 60s and learns from their mistakes and successes, well, I think thats just plain smart. While they are thankful for the support from Unions, they are NOT unions - they are Occupy.

The clip transitions showing violence from the 60s and the murders of The Black Panther Party leaders is shown. Breitbart tries to look empathetic and strong: "That's exactly what the anti-war movement became. It has nothing to do with stopping the war. And Occupy has nothing to do with banks. It has everything to do with using Saul Alinsky leftist tactics to put their enemies on the defensive." Seriously... this stuff is gold.

They claim the Occupy movement didn't/doesn't know what they were fighting for... I disagree, but then, I'm an idealist. Here is their reddit from September 2011, and their "working" list of demands.

The end of this film felt like a lot of name-calling: They call Lisa Fithian a "professional anarchist" to which I almost spit out my water laughing. I have never heard of a professional anarchist... didn't know that was an option! (Dang!) Medea Benjamin is a socialist! Rudy Giuliani has a clip stating: "Barak Obama owns the Occupy Movement, it would not have happened, but for his class warfare." They're all commies! Where is McCarthy! Sigh...

Breitbart looks right into the camera: "That's what they got out of all the blood, sweat, tears, and rapes." WHAT? I don't even... what???? Ugh....

I may not know everything about the Occupy movement, but I watched and read about it everyday for 3 or so months religiously when things got rolling in September 2011. Now, I tend to check in and read the webpage or facebooks on a semi-regular basis.

I won't deny that there were/are issues with Occupy... there is in every movement. There are always going to be extremists on both sides that ruin it for the folks that give a shit and follow the guidelines of the initial idea. (Ideas and Ideals are also a very interesting concept, especially when looking at the generations, but thats another blog all together.)

We close out the film with a violent montage of protests getting heated (from the civil rights protests to Battle in Seattle to the present), leftist speakers saying things like "We're all anarchists",  and a really embarrassing clips of Breitbart yelling at Occupy protesters as he's being dragged away "Behaaaave yourself! Behaaaaave yourself! Stop raping people! Stop raping people! Stop! Raping! The People!!" over and over and over... I rolled my eyes at this in true Loud-Mouthed Gal fashion and desperately wanted to turn it off... but I waited through the credits, like I always do. My goodness that was painful.

I know I probably sound like an extreme leftist writing this kind of thing, but I feel like words have power... and when you use them incorrectly, you do yourself and others a disservice. Oddly enough, after I finished writing this review, I did a search to see who else reviewed it, and a left website, TheNation.com did... and they were eerily close to how I phrased things! Haha I swear I didn't read it before hand! Here it is, if you're interested. (I was far kinder, don't you agree? Ha!)

I felt like this film tried to keep me dumb and from asking questions, from wanting to seek out more answers... they make all their statements so absolute and agressive that you cower... But I couldn't. I knew that so much of what they were showing was one-sided, skewed and blown out of proportion. I'm glad I watched this film, it forced me to seek out the other side and find that there might be some discrepancies, but not to the extent they want you to believe. They want you to be afraid so you don't question them and accept what they tell you as the absolute truth. Nothing is absolute.

Also, sadly, Andrew Breitbard passed away after the conclusion of this film in 2012, as it is the first credit to roll. I don't agree with the man in any respect, but rest in peace, dude.

I could write more, but I fear it will lose momentum or meaning at some point.

Tin-foil hat, off.

Thanks for sitting through that, everyone.

Documentary watched on Netflix March 3, 2013
Occupy Unmasked - If you're still into it after reading this, watch it.

~Loud-Mouthed Gal

The Liberal Media Doesn't Speak Up When They're In The Wrong

Originally written February 22, 2013

I have some conflicting feelings. As many of you know, I do not associate with either of the major political parties, but I take a little from all I learn, regardless of its political color. 

Colorado Democrat Rep. Joe Salazar said a few days ago some rather distasteful and thoughtless things about women and rape when discussing "House Bill 1226 which bans concealed carry firearms inside of all college campus buildings in the state [of Colorado]." (HuffingtonPost.com).  He went on to say during this discussion: 

"It's why we have call boxes. It's why we have safe zones. It's why we have the whistles, because you just don't know who you're going to be shooting at. And you don't know if you feel like you're going to be raped, or if you feel like someone's been following you around or if you feel like you're in trouble when you may actually not be, that you pop out that gun and you pop... pop a round at somebody." Rep. Joe Salazar (D-Thornton)

Googling for this story, pretty much only shows conservative websites up in arms about these statements (odd, as they are usually the ones saying them). Wasn't it mere months ago that there were several men on the conservative side and "doctors" claiming women's bodies couldn't get pregnant from rape and that it doesn't happen that often? Around election time, that birth control is killing babies? And this uninformed crazypants. My hair bristles just thinking about their utter disregard for women and safety. 

Where was the liberal media? I had to specifically type into the search "Huffington Post" in addition to "Joe Salazar Democrat Colorado Rape Gun" to see if they had written anything about it, because it was not posted under the News section of google when I searched for the original key words I used to look up this matter: "Joe Salazar Democrat Colorado Rape Gun". HuffingtonPost's article is apologetic and paints the conservatives that came out of the woodwork for this one as noisy tattle-tails, mangling the words and looking to win some women's rights points back. True, some of them do this. It happens every time.

Of course, each side is taking turns blowing it out their asses. Taking it to extremes, "the real war on women is disarming women"?... Please. You were trying to take away my rights to plan for a family on my time, according to my desires, only a few months ago. As if my rights to my body aren't already a battlefield.

Watch the video of Salazar. I was taken aback.  

I've had over 20 years of listening to my gut to protect me. To say that I might not be able to tell when someone is going to attack me is an insult. I don't talk about it, but I was attacked in broad daylight on a busy street. Because I felt I was being followed, I broke into a run and yelled. He still pursued me running down the street. The only reasons it didn't go as he planned was because I got to my car in the nick of time. I should have run into the street, in retrospect. I wish I had had a gun when I was 22 years old.

This is the list of actions women can take to protect themselves according to the University of Colorado-Colorado Springs.

1.    Be realistic about your ability to protect yourself.

2.    Your instinct may be to scream, go ahead!  It may startle your attacker and give you an opportunity to run away.

3.    Kick off your shoes if you have time and can’t run in them.

4.    Don’t take time to look back; just get away.

5.    If your life is in danger, passive resistance may be your best defense.

6.    Tell your attacker that you have a disease or are menstruating.

7.    Vomiting or urinating may also convince the attacker to leave you alone.

8.    Yelling, hitting or biting may give you a chance to escape, do it!

9.    Understand that some actions on your part might lead to more harm.

10.    Remember, every emergency situation is different.  Only you can decide which action is most appropriate.

  

TheBlaze.com is run by Glenn Beck, not someone I am a fan of, in any respect. Sadly, this is only article I could find that has all the links and lists in it.

The list of things a woman can do in an instance of being attacked and raped is misleading. Yes, you should fight, yes you should stand up for yourself or run... use those heels to stab that fucker for attacking you... if you can walk with a friend, why wouldn't you... but if your attacker wants to accomplish something, they will have thought of ways to incapacitate you before it even starts and are already ahead of the jump. Trust your gut. 

"Be realistic about your ability to protect yourself." ...What the hell does that mean?

"Understand that some actions on your part might lead to more harm." ...If you hit them, yeah, they might hit you back, but in some states if you don't show that you tried to fight back in a court of law, you weren't really a victim of rape. How healthy is that? You get judged for being raped by people that didn't think you fought hard enough so you got what you deserved.  Fuck that. 

Yes, mace, tasers and other tools are effective. If you have been trained and legally obtained a concealed weapon permit, you carry a gun - NO one should take that right from you. I don't care where you are.

The Beck site references RedState.com for statistics, but those were linked even deeper to a site that looked... well, uber rightwing-y, but mostly about self-denfese in the broad sense.  

I found a research study about rape statistics. I recommend reading it:

"Women who used knives or guns in self-defense were raped less than 1% of the time. Defensive use of edged or projectile weapons reduced the rate of injury to statistical insignificance (Kleck and Sayles, 1990)." (Source)

So I guess in conclusion, I find it odd that this story has not made the rounds and felt it should be aired out.  This is more than I usually write about these things, but it must have been time, because it just came spewing out of me. I feel very strongly about women's rights, women's safety and citizen's rights to own guns and carry them when done so legally. 

So there.

Tyranny of Cheerfulness: Thoughts on Pink Ribbons, Inc. Documentary

“This cancer has no cure.”

As I sit here watching the documentary Pink Ribbons, Inc. I am thankful that the women talking seem to know that we are being fed a bunch of bullshit.

The capitalism that utilizes people's emotions makes me very uncomfortable. Now yeah, if you're going to purchase that product anyway, Yoplait, for example, and you happen to be one of those people that does keep the lids and does mail them in, every little bit helps, but this is not something that can be solved with the 10 cents that you sent them plus the 45 cents that you spent on the stamp to mail it in the first place... you might as well have just sent the money straight to Susan G. Komen For the Cure or the Avon Foundation.

I'm not saying support isn't important because it is BEYOND important. If someone in your life is fighting cancer of any kind, you go along with whatever makes them feel impowered. If a pin with a pink ribbon on it makes them feel powerful, I will wear it and proudly. I have before. The walks/runs/events are community building and supportive. I won't knock that. Where I have an issue is when cancer-causing products are funding the event or giving items away at the event... seriously? Are you kidding me?? Poor health affects the lives of so many of the American people and we have KFC with a promotion with pink Buckets of fried chicken???

It feels like a mockery. It's insulting to those with cancer, and those of us with friends and family that have cancer. Our medical system treats patients like lost causes. When my uncle was dying of esophageal cancer, a doctor that was covering for his normal doctor walked in one day and said something to the effect of "Don't know why you're fighting so hard, this is a lost cause"... what are we if we are without hope? That doctor took a man that was fighting for his life and positive every step of the way in the face of all adversity, and crushed his spirit in an instant.  My uncle passed away a few months later, but I will never forgive that doctor. No matter how hopeless or pointless it might seem, life is always worth fighting for.

But back to Breast Cancer. Pink. Pink everywhere. Pink Ribbons... where did they come from anyway? In the early 1990s, a lady by the name of Charlotte Haley "bundled them into sets of five, each with a card that read: 'The National Cancer Institute annual budget is $1.8 billion; only 5% goes for cancer prevention.'" (Source)  This was a grassroots start up that came out of the protests against big companies that are expelling poisons into the air, into our foods, cosmetics and into household items. They wanted to know why. Why are we getting more cancer? What causes it?

It feels as though the overuse of the Pink Ribbon and products that are pink "in support" of the Susan G. Komen For the Cure normalize and make this all... fluffy. I don't know how else to really say it. I find it odd that we are always told how much money has been raised for whatever walk or run or fundraiser... what I want to know is what did that money DO? Show me results. Are we closer? Are we able to isolate what causes breast cancer in women and a few men? Is it a gene? Is it a food? What? I don't know what I would do with 5.5 million dollars... but I know I would want to see what it is doing to resolve this matter.

Yes, it is important for “the cure” to be found... but no one talks about cancer prevention. It is mentioned in the film by one of the speakers that they were told there was no prevention plan because we don't know what causes it. I don't accept that for a second, and neither does Deborah Rhodes. 

I had a friend who lost her mother to breast cancer and was a high risk herself. She was diligent and checked herself and when she would try to get mammograms because she knew her history, doctors would tell her she was too young and that she didn't need a mammogram. When she found a lump in her breast and tried to get help, she was met with so much resistance. I was appalled at how she was treated. Finally she found someone who would listen to her and found that yes, she had breast cancer, a young woman in her early thirties - it happens. She is in remission now, but her road has been rough to say the least. I am so grateful for her and inspired by her... I wish that her doctors would see her that way and not as a number and dollar signs for pharmaceuticals. 

A couple of years ago I saw this TedTalk titled: Deborah Rhodes: A tool that finds 3x more breast tumors, and why it's not available to you Dec 2010. It's about breast cancer screening, and was amazed this wasn't already being used around the world. We lose the big companies that make mammogram machines, their technicians and radiologists that read the picture. It's all about money. 

Cancer became very real for me when I had 2 friends in their early thirties get cancers around the same time 3 years ago (both are in remission and doing well), and then my uncle's diagnosis in mid 2010 and passing away in Feb 2011. My family went into an extreme research mode in 2010, and we have continued it. We are hungry to know how to prevent cancers and take care of ourselves. I'll probably refer to this TedTalk again in other blogs about food and cancer, but I feel it is worth sharing every time. William Li's Can We Eat To Starve Cancer?  Worth all 20 minutes. Another good site to check is SkinDeep from the Environmental Working Group to see where your cosmetics, lotions and whatnot fall on a scale of ingredients known to cause cancer. 

So why Tyranny of Cheerfulness? Pink is a soft color. Society has made pink feminine and weak. Pink is supposed to make us feel happy. Pink is marketable. Yes, outlook and attitude affect you and those are important attributes of battling cancer... but the pink ribbons symbolize a battle which has yet to see a glimmer of hope. We continue to use radiation, poison - er... chemotherapy, and surgery. And it's not good enough. It's just not good enough.

Documentary watched on Netflix February 2013

Pink Ribbon, Inc.  - Watch It

~ Loud-Mouthed Gal

Why are you a loud-mouthed frog... er, gal?

On March 19, 2003 I was standing in my dorm living room watching television as I cooked food before my next class. President Bush came on tv, and announced the War on Iraq – and my heart sank. Really? This was the answer? I had always tried to be politically aware, but I wasn't as informed as say, an activist would be... I was ignorant by most standards, but always willing to listen and to learn. Sadly, at that moment, the ignorance and disassociation from this government that I felt no longer represented the country I believed in. I turned off my tv, unplugged my cable and didn't watch broadcast television for the next 8 years.

Ignorance was bliss. I didn't engage in political conversations with my peers and I didn't have to argue or take a side. It was hard not to care, it took effort to keep it out of my life, to avoid the poison of television. Once in a while I would go online and watch The Daily Show or The Colbert Report just to see what was going on... it was a blessing to have those programs since basically, their poor people had to watch all the television I didn't want to and distill it down into practicality and satire. Thank you for your lost hours of life watching MSNBC and FoxNews, folks.

I was on a break at work in September 2011 when I came across the Occupy movement online. All the political and humanistic passion I had been holding onto erupted. I watched the livestream online from Zucotti Park all day, had it in the background while I worked, at home while I did the dishes... as much as I could. I was hungry for it and told my boyfriend I wanted to go to the Occupy Los Angeles meet-ups. My boyfriend used to be an activist and he told me flat out “No.” I was taken aback and we argued for a while about it. I finally understood his side of wanting us to be safe and how we can help without having to put our faces in the crowd.

Now, some people might call us cowards, but I had to accept something about myself... I couldn't afford to be detained/jailed because it would lead to the loss of my job, our income, and that is a snowball effect by itself. It was shortly after in October that I was put on a project at work that was in the field I wanted to be in and I was on cloud nine. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my time there, but I still watched online, read the newsfeeds and did what I could conversationally when people would talk about it with no knowledge.

The economy finally became a painful reality for me and hundreds of my co-workers when we were let go in a massive lay-off a year ago. Suddenly, everything I was reading, watching, had become front row.

I've been unemployed for a year exactly. There have been moments of clarity and even more moments of loss and helplessness. When I take breaks from researching job sites and writing cover letters, I am watching documentaries and old TV shows I missed during my 8 years of not having cable television. I watch TEDtalks and read NPR. I watch documentaries and then I find myself researching the subject even more afterwards. Women's rights, human rights and health tend to be at the top of my list, but I love a good documentary regardless.

My boyfriend has been on my case to make a youtube channel, to build a fanbase, to make anything. Part of a fragile artist ego is never feeling like anything you do is good enough to share with others. Our most recent discussion of this was during a particularly hormonal day for me, and I happened to be watching the supplemental More The Business of Being Born. It became apparent to me that I can't really share all these long-winded, opinonated thoughts on facebook... so here it is: The Loud-Mouthed Gal blog.

I know I'm not the smartest, or the most eloquent... I hope you will forgive me, and share your thoughts or information with me. I am always willing to learn something new and listen, and even concede if I am wrong.

I have been trying to find employment in the entertainment industry in casting, talent management and production because I need a job and I could see myself enjoying and not hating myself if I did these things. In my heart, I am a performer - I am a singer and an actor, and always will be.

I will be quiet no longer. I have a lot of feelings and ideas about feminism, humanism, and society that may or may not be too terribly popular, but I have to share them somewhere.

~ Loud-Mouthed Gal